Let’s Watch: Think Like A Man
On Monday 27 Jan, Let’s Events held their monthly event Let’s Watch, in which they showcase a chosen movie, and a discussion is held after the viewing. This month the film was ‘Think Like A Man’.
This was my second time watching this movie and I enjoyed it as much as I did the first time. The comedy and ensemble of eye candy were enough to keep me entertained! For those of you who may not know; the film is based on a book called ‘Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man’, by American comedian-turned-relationship guru Steve Harvey. It basically tells women how to understand why men behave the way they do.
We were asked whether we had read the book, and a few of us had, including myself. One guy said that the book makes sense because it’s honest, but people don’t like to hear honesty. Another said that the content contains obvious stuff, but there’s too much generalisation. I, personally, didn’t have a problem with the book. It made sense to me. Given the stories regarding Steve Harvey and his former wife that have been in the media recently, it’s very easy to question whether he is in a position to even be advising people on successful relationships. But it turns out that his ex-wife was lying about him abusing their son, found in contempt of court, and thrown in jail. I don’t feel that he tried to pass himself off as an expert in the book, just merely explaining the things that women complain the most about men, and who better to explain it but a man? I do feel that there needs to be a book for the guys too, because it can’t always be about women having to work hard to please the man. Is there one available?
The next question put to the room was: are men afraid of commitment? An oldie, but a goodie that we never seem to find a proper answer to! A guy who commented said that men are not afraid, some guys find it easier to lie and say they’re not ready if they’re not interested in the girl, but some guys are real. He also felt that a lot of women are not willing to conform and make the changes they need to make it work with a guy, they would rather sit and wait for the man of their dreams. Hmm. Another said that men go through many women until they find The One, but women always believe that they are that One for whichever guy they are seeing. The overall consensus was that men aren’t afraid, some just simply aren’t ready. I agree that men aren’t necessarily afraid of commitment, but some seem to be afraid of relationships, full-stop. Maybe it’s a maturity thing. They shy away or avoid them, for no good reason, and it really makes me wonder why. What is so scary about it?
In the film, one of the women judges the man on his chivalry – whether he opens the car door for her or just presses the key to unlock it. A guy in the discussion expressed that with Steve Harvey saying that men should do the decent thing of opening the door for the lady, it shows that Steve is coming from an old school point of view, because he sure as hell would not be getting up to open any car door. How sad! This is the problem right there! Why wouldn’t you do the polite thing?? He’s making the woman an enemy from the start, for no good reason. Not all ‘old school’ behaviours are bad. In the same breath he would probably diss a woman for not wanting to cook for him.
We also discussed the 90 Day Rule. Does it actually work? The general consensus is no. People have had sex on the first date, and gone on to have long relationships, while the opposite has also happened. One lady said she tried it, and what she realised while getting to know the guy was that he wasn’t the one for her. In that sense, she’s happy they didn’t do ‘it’, but she doesn’t think she’ll impose the rule again. I think you should do it when you feel comfortable enough, but don’t make sex what the potential relationship is about.
The best part of the discussion was the good ole Nandos debate – is it okay to go to Nandos on your first date? Gordon Bennett, the opinions on this will remain forever divided until Nandos actually shuts down! Most of the men in the room said they didn’t see why it was a problem, because the date shouldn’t be about where he takes her, rather whether they get to know and like each other. But one lady said a man could never take her to Nandos for a first date, because she can take herself there. She would rather go home and cook chicken for herself, and go out with the guy when he has been paid, because “that’s the life I live.” I’m sorrybut, as anti-feminist as it may sound (and I don’t give a crap) I was with the guys on this. Of course I would 100% appreciate it if a guy took me somewhere swanky on our first date, but then I would expect that every time he takes me out, and if he can’t deliver, then I would think he was pretending. What’s wrong with going out for a simple coffee, or Nandos where the food is nice, to get to know each other? As much as the woman wants to see what this man can do for her, the man also has to gage whether he likes the woman enough to want to spend big money on her. I deal in fairness, I’m afraid. I’ve been to Nandos on a first date, and it was fine. People seem to put Nandos on par with McDonald’s and KFC, but sorry, no. Teenagers go on dates to McDonald’s, grown folk don’t need to do that. Funnily enough, on the day of this Let’s Watch event, there had been a news story about a young Manchester United footballer who had gone on a date to Nandos with a girl, who then sold her story to the tabloids, dissing him for doing that. He earns £30,000 a week, and she said she expected him to pick her up fancy car, but instead she had to drive. She’s 25, he’s 18 – serves her right. His young self probably hasn’t been to a fancy restaurant, and thought that Nandos was a place he was comfortable in. At 25, why are you chasing an 18 year-old? It’s clear what she was after.
So what do you think? Have you read the book or seen the movie? Is Steve Harvey speaking the truth, or speaking about himself? Let us know in the comments!
Check the Let’s Events Facebook page for upcoming events and discussions: https://www.facebook.com/LetsEvents .