Forget All The Dating Rules You’ve Heard – Here’s The Truth! (Apparently)
There are many women all over the world who have read a whole load of self-help books on dating, containing a plethora of rules and regulations if you want to successfully nab that guy. For years they have been told things like:
When he calls, don’t answer straight away, so that he knows you have a life and you’re not sitting waiting for his call
End the call first, so that he that he knows you’re busy and have a life
When he asks you on a date, wait for three days before accepting, so you look like you have a life
Don’t kiss on the first date
No sex on the first date
Be submissive so he feels like a man
Be a bitch, men like that
If he hasn’t proposed to you within 30 days of the first date, he’s not serious
And people wonder why so many women are confused!
Well a new book has come out that basically spits on all the dos and don’ts that have been fed over the years. It’s Okay to Sleep With Him on the First Date: And Every Other Rule of Dating, Debunked by Andrea Syrtash and Jeff Wilser (relationship and life coaches) says you should simply do whatever you feel like doing in any given moment. Any advice containing the words ‘always’ or ‘never’ is bad advice. If at the end of your date, you want to sleep with him and he wants the same, then what’s the problem, because if he likes you he’ll want to see you again regardless. The premise of what the authors are saying is: Trust yourself.
In an interview with the website Lifestyle Mirror, Andrea says: “I think rules in love—or life for that matter—disempower people. Jeff and I don’t think you should throw out all conventional wisdom, and we’re not saying you should call a person three times a day till he calls you back simply because that’s what you feel like doing. But in our book, we present case studies, research, and different strategies about how to deal with various dating situations so you can take an approach that feels right for you.”
Hmm… What do you think Lurvlees? We haven’t got our hands on a copy of the book yet, but it does sound intriguing, and does make sense, though it might go against what some deem as proper etiquette (and that’s probably the point). So until we do, if any of you have read it, we’d love to hear about it!
Great post. I like the trust yourself advice. I’ve heard of the rules and really mostly feel self-help rules like that are void because nobody is out there living your life but you. And, things don’t happen the way they set out their rules for me to even apply them, so I’ve never thought they were for me. Kissing the guy you want to kiss on the first date sounds more like common sense to me, than sticking to a rule that says you shouldn’t, and if I waited for three days to say yes to a date, knowingly my luck he’d probably change his mind and think I wasn’t interested, let’s face it if I wanted to I’d be so glad he asked, I’d say yes before he finished his question haha :o)