Jada Pinkett-Smith Says We Should Give A Cheater A Chance
Jada Pinkett-Smith seems to be substituting her acting work for that of a social commentator/life guru type. She has been posting her opinions on her Facebook page of late, regarding various topics, ranging from Beyonce’s stage outfits to addressing rumours about her marriage to Will Smith. Her latest piece is on the subject of whether to stay and make a relationship work when your partner has cheated on you.
Should I stay with a mate after she or he has cheated on me?
(This is not referring to habitual cheaters. That is a different matter.)
This is a very personal choice, and there is no right or wrong answer. If your partner is remorseful and is willing to work it out, I would suggest trying to look at it from this vantage point. My observation has been that when most people cheat, they are trying to solve a problem. They are usually in some kind of emotional trouble or confusion that they believed the cheating would relieve. What’s interesting is that most of the time the cheating has nothing to do with YOU. Now the question becomes, are you willing to put all ego aside and reach for some deep compassion to try to figure out what the trouble is, and, as partners, try to solve it? Know this, if someone has cheated on you who truly loves you, they have hurt themselves as much as they have hurt you. This makes for a great opportunity to deepen the relationship with thorough honesty, which creates deeper respect with some serious setting of boundaries. This is also when love gets real and true and illuminates what you are made of as a couple and as individuals. Situations like these could be the windows to a deeper commitment OR… to two separate paths on the way to look for new partners. Only the unique nature of your specific relationship can be the telling factor. Is he or she worth it?
Hmm… Now I understand what she’s generally saying – that instead of instantly choosing to leave, try and work it out if possible, because all might not be lost, and situations are not always black and white. But I disagree with a couple of things. I feel like a decent person who is having problems in their relationship, would first address said issues with their partner, before deciding that cheating could be the answer. Also, I believe that if someone truly loves you, they wouldn’t purposely do what they know would hurt you. If their cheating has nothing to do with YOU, then you clearly haven’t married a good person. Not all cheating is as deep as Jada has described (habitual or not).
What say you Lurvlees? Do you agree with Mrs Pinkett-Smith?