Interview: Relationship Coach – Victor Granville
Victor Granville is a certified and professional Relationship Coach, Author, and Speaker who is based in London. He works with people who are ready to focus on creating healthy romantic relationships, and end cycles of repeating damaging patterns that result in unsuccessful relationships, and heartbreak. Let’s get to know him a bit better…
What is the background that led to you becoming a Relationship Coach?
I have always had a passion for relationships as long as I can remember I’ve always been curious about why some relationships fail and some succeed. In fact, my university dissertation for my Psychology degree was to identify the single most contributing factor as to why people divorce. The divorce rate is devastatingly high; as of now hovering around the 53%-55% mark for first time marriages, and 70% for second marriages, in some countries. This means marriages have less than a 50/50 chance of working which is very concerning. The statistics indicate that the way people are currently meeting/dating/doing relationships is not working, and that’s why I do what I do.
Personally I have had my own experiences of painful relationship patterns that have caused me much heartbreak, heartache, and loneliness. Since then I’ve matured, healed, and have grown greatly in my awareness and knowledge in this field. Now I want to pass on what I’ve learnt to others and support them in reaching their goals of breaking free from their own painful relationship patterns, so they can be in the healthy, loving and committed relationships they deserve.
What aspect of coaching gives you the most satisfaction?
I absolutely love being able to inspire hope and possibilities in my clients, who often come to me feeling quite resigned, doubtful, and frustrated with the notion of attracting their ‘happy in lasting love’ experience. After just one session with me, more often than not, I see them take on a new posture of self-belief and hope, and for the first time they can finally see a way to have the relationship they want, and go on to actually attract it. That for me is everything!
What is your style of coaching?
Whilst I am both action orientated and solution focused in my approach, I also create a compassionate, non-judgmental, safe zone where empathy and trust are available to support my clients to drop into an exploration of their deep motivations and drivers of behaviour. As a relationship coach, I focus on the present moment (and I help my clients connect with their past through their present moment experience where useful) and what my clients want to create moving forward. I help my clients to develop critical skills for relationship success and self-awareness; this includes ways of being with themselves and others, that are both healing and supportive. I take my clients as whole and not broken – they don’t need ‘fixing’.
What is the most common relationship issue you encounter with your clients?
I’ve narrowed down the work I do to work with people who are struggling to break free from painful relationship patterns that cause toxicity and heartbreak. Common issues the people I serve face is an inability to locate their hidden blocks to love, being unable to identify emotionally available partners for a committed relationship, or struggling to choose compatible partners aligned with them in the healthiest of ways. It causes them to waste precious time that they don’t have.
Are there any issues you feel you wouldn’t be able to help with?
I have invested a great deal in my academic and professional training that has equipped me with the skills and awareness to work with a diverse range of client challenges – some more difficult than others. I haven’t come across someone I haven’t been able to work with yet. Sometimes I have clients who are already in some form of counselling or therapy, who also work with me. My work complements what they are already doing with other professionals to support their progress toward their goals.
What has been your biggest success story regarding a client?
I have many success stories where clients of mine learn how to truly love themselves. They learn how to honour themselves, set healthy boundaries, take action in servicing their own feelings and needs, and speak up after losing their voices. My clients have been able to move out of painful relationship patterns, some spanning across 5 years or more, and they’re now able to move on in life. I’ve had clients who have been single for several years finally moving into healthy loving and committed relationships – something that at one stage they never thought was a possibility for them.
Is it wrong to assume that as a coach you have all the tools and know all the correct methods, therefore you’re always successful in relationships?
My personal experience, and professional and academic training, can inform my behaviour and help increase my awareness around the behaviour of others. But ultimately for a relationship to work, it requires two open people desiring the same things and working together in the same direction. There are many external events that can challenge the relationship. I bring the best chance of sustaining a healthy, loving, and lasting connection than coming to relationships without a strong knowledge base for what works and what doesn’t.
Do you find that as a coach you experience your own relationships in an analytical way?
No, people are to be loved not analysed. I understand that when we are analysing, we are in our heads and not in our hearts. Human connection happens through an open heart, and so I must be in my own heart to connect with the open hearts of others. When I’m too busy analysing a relationship, I’m likely to be in the future trying to control an outcome, or in the past ruminating over guilt or past hurts; both of which mean I am not present and emotionally available for the relationship unfolding before me. This will just create a disconnection, and will likely lead to the eventual end of the relationship.
Tell us a bit about Victor Granville the person.
I absolutely love singing (on some of my Social Media you can catch some snippets of that). I learned how to sing by attending church – it’s one of the best ways I know to connect with God, and to express myself where words fail me.
I enjoy health and fitness, working out, and ensuring I’m taking care of my body with what I eat and how I move. I lost four stones in 12 months, three years ago, when I applied my own self-love principles, that I use with clients, to my own weight challenges.
I’m an avid movie-goer. I love the cinematic experience, the big screens, the loud sound systems, the community watching, and of course the popcorn! One of my favourite movies of all time is Avatar.
If you would like to use Victor’s services, head to: atractrealloveatlast.as.me