Ask The People: Were there any other black cultures or nationalities that your parents told you they didn’t want you to date?
No – my mum had her preference, but kept it to herself.
I was told no Naijas and Jamaicans or else I’d be walking myself down the aisle. My dad’s thinking is that we will be chased out of this country one day, so I will have to follow my husband to his country of origin. I’m allowed Bajans, St Lucians and Guyanese though! We lived in Guyana when I was younger, and he thinks Bajans and St Lucians are nice people! My mum isn’t that fussy, but I think she also agrees with the Nigerian part.
No, but I know plenty who told their kids not to date a Jamaican, such as myself.
Indians and Nigerians…
My parents were cool, but a family friend used to tell her two that she only wanted them to be with another black person… but not an African.
My Jamaican parents would to always joke about not being with those from ‘small islands’, i.e, St. Lucians, Grenadians, Dominicans, etc. Not my view though – whoever makes me happy!
Nigerians and Jamaicans/Caribbeans ( lets see what happens!)
Oh my grandma was hot on this! Jamaicans!
My mum was ok she just said, “No old guys”. They make your skin scratch apparently. My nan was dead against any Africans. She said they would make me eat flies. She has loosened up over the years and I think she’d accept anyone as long as they married me (preferably not too dark though).
I try to maintain a healthy distance from Jamaicans. I just can’t. No child of mine will ever feel comfortable singing ‘Call Me A Yardie’.
No, although I know my Grandma would die inside if I married a Naija.
Naija – although my mum hasn’t directly said it, but the one liners are evident.
My mum also distrusts Yardies, but had been fine with my previous British Jamaican ex…
Nope, I’m f-ing Haitian – I’m the one who everyone has a stupid juju problem with.
I know a lot of African parents turn their noses up at Caribbean partners and some are biased against other Africans. Phrases like “those Congolese or those Senegalese people” or “I would prefer that you marry a white man than a Nigerian”, are common.
In addition some parents will even be against partners from the same country but different tribes…it’s just too much sometimes.
I am from Barbados. I have dated Bajans other Caribbean guys, and I have been in a long term relationship with a Ghanaian guy. I have to say to some extent I understand what they are saying. It is just easier to be with someone from your own culture. I broke it off with my Ghanaian, ex because he wanted to migrate to Ghana. We toyed with the idea of 3 houses one in London, one in Barbados and one in Ghana. Very impractical. Someone always has to make that sacrifice to switch sides. That was eventually why we split. We loved each other and he was a great guy. Every one loved him, they all still ask after him, but in my heart I knew I could never live in Ghana. It was nice, but I couldn’t see it as home. This is not to say it can’t work for someone but just know for it to work one has to be prepared to compromise and sacrifice or there will be issues.
My mum is Igbo (Nigerian) and wasnt best pleased when I had a Yoruba boyfriend. The fact he was Nigerian wasnt good enough, but then I pay no mind as in Cameroon people from the North West will hate on people from tribes in the South West, and vice versa. It’s all down to the individuals. Then again, I know my mum was constantly referred to as “that Nigerian woman” by some family members and other people when she moved to Cameroon with my dad.